smattering

I’ve started a blog several times before.  It’s not something I’m proud of.  Why?  Blogging is one of those things that seems like anyone should be able to do it.  Like abstract art and writing a novel.  Somehow though, there always seems to be a neverending brigade of people out there who are better at it than you assume you will ever be.  So, as with a lot of things I’ve tried, I quickly develop a complex which turns into a fear of serious commitment which turns into guilt – and that’s about the time I delete my bookmark to whatever half-assed blog I’ve begun and try to forget that it never existed.

In fact, that’s just what happened with this one.  I thought it had disappeared into the cyber ether since last summer when I started it.  I had about five posts of “worthy” material before it just petered away.

And now, I’m trying again.  I’ve been sitting around for weeks thinking about how much I need a project.  How I need to write, anything, but don’t have a direction.  I’m so used to being a college student – and in fact, since I’m headed once more into that particular breach in September for grad school, I still am – that it’s difficult and somewhat pointless to assign myself writing.  I stopped being a creative writer so long ago, and, in reality, never wrote anything much other than poetry, that that line of work seemed unfruitful also.

So, lastly, the theme for this blog is “we’ll see.”  If it amounts to anything.  If I get bored with it.  Maybe by not making myself any promises this time, I can actually do something with this.